


not enough.

by artificialmeggie (ohmymeggs)



Series: blood and honey [9]
Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Angst, Drabble, Light Smut, M/M, Post-Break Up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-25
Updated: 2019-07-25
Packaged: 2020-07-19 08:48:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19971289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohmymeggs/pseuds/artificialmeggie
Summary: They’re doing okay, they are. They’re friends again, just in time for the press tour to start, which is perfect because Brooke didn’t want things to be awkward.(or How Brooke and Vanjie reconnected on the Season 11 press tour)





	not enough.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you, Mia, for everything.

They’re doing okay, they are. They’re friends again, just in time for the press tour to start, which is perfect because Brooke didn’t want things to be awkward.

They haven’t seen each other in person since Brooke broke things off two weeks after Halloween, and it’s only a little strange when they end up in rooms right next to each other and he runs into Vanessa as he’s carrying his bags up.

“Hi,” Brooke says softly, sliding his key card into the slot.

“Hey.” Vanjie shoves his hands in his pockets and purses his lips. Vanjie’s dressed for a night out; Brooke can smell his cologne across the ten feet that separate them. “Plane late?” He nods to Brooke’s luggage.

“Yeah,” Brooke says. “Weather.”

There’s an awkward moment of silence between them, then the elevator doors slide open, and Silky’s voice rings through the hallway.

“Vanjie! Trade’s not finding itself!”

Brooke might imagine it, but he thinks Vanessa turns a little pink. “I’m coming, Silk.”

Brooke clears his throat. “You guys going out?” As if he doesn’t already know the answer, as if he isn’t already imagining Vanjie grinding on a stranger all night.

“Yeah.” Vanjie nods. “Silk and A’keria, they… They been on that Tinder grind, you know.”

He nods. He wants to ask if Vanessa has also been on Tinder, is planning on meeting someone at the bar, but he isn’t ready for that answer. Also, he doesn’t think he deserves it. So he presses his lips into a thin smile.

“You, uh…” Vanjie scrubs a hand over his face. “If you wanna come with…”

“No!” Brooke says quickly because he can tell that the invite is purely out of social mores and not because Vanjie truly wants him to come. “Nah, I’m beat. I’m just gonna order something to eat. Maybe take a bath. Then go to bed.”

Vanessa laughs. “You always did love a bath.”

Brooke pauses, hand on the knob for a moment before he breathes in deep. “It’s good to see you, Vanj.”

Vanessa nods. “Yep. You too.”

“Have fun tonight.” And he means it.

* * *

Vanjie has one too many shots at the bar and ends up at Brooke’s door instead of his own.

Brooke wakes to the sound of Vanjie cursing as he slides his keycard in and out of the slot and shaking the door handle when the lock refuses to disengage. So Brooke stumbles across the carpet, opens the door, and blinks in the bright light of the hallway.

“What are you doing?”

Vanjie looks up at Brooke, obviously confused, and then glances at the number to the side of the door. “Fucking… I’m sorry.” He sighs heavily. “You know I can’t read for shit when I’m drunk.”

Brooke nods. “I guess you had a good time then.” He doesn’t add that he’s relieved that Vanessa came home alone.

Vanjie rolls his eyes. “I wouldn’t say that.”

Brooke - wants to ask, wants to know, but knows it’s none of his business. Knows he has no right to pry or to expect Vanessa to share anything, so he settles for, “I’m sorry.”

“Typical.” Vanessa scoffs. “Good night, Brooke.” He stumbles a little, catches himself on the wall, and Brooke grabs for his elbow before he topples over into the floor.

It’s three in the morning, and they all have too much to do tomorrow, but Brooke knows Vanjie, recognizes when he gets in over his head. And while he knows the man in front of him is an adult and is probably more than capable of taking care of himself, Brooke pulls him into his hotel room and flips on the overhead light.

“What are you doing?” Vanjie asks, eyes slipping closed as Brooke tugs the leather jacket off his shoulders.

“Putting you to bed,” Brooke answers softly, bending to remove the other man’s shoes.

“I’m a grown-ass man, bitch. Also we broke up.” But Vanjie doesn’t try to stop him.

“Yeah…” Brooke says, pausing before he leads Vanessa to bed, guides him under the sheet, tucks the blankets in around him before he flips off the lights and climbs in beside him.

“Why’d we break up?” Vanessa says into the darkness, his back turned toward Brooke, rising and falling with steady breaths. His voice is so small, so tiny that it breaks Brooke’s heart all over again.

“Because I’m not enough for you,” Brooke says with a shaky sigh. “I can’t be… Enough for you right now.”

Vanjie turns over, reaches out for Brooke’s hand across the empty space between them. “This feels like enough.”

Brooke bites his lip, lets Vanessa’s fingers flex around his, considers what he needs to say next. He never gets the opportunity.

Vanjie’s snoring before Brooke can speak again.

* * *

When Brooke wakes the next morning, everything feels like nothing has changed. Vanessa clings to his chest, head buried under his neck, legs wrapped around his waist. The sheets are tossed to the side because Vanjie generates enough body heat for both of them, and Brooke breathes in the scent of his hair (coconut and vanilla) and his cologne (spice and something a little sharper than he’s always just associated with Vanessa and, later, sex).

Brooke tries to move, shift just a little to ease the ache of his back, but Vanjie tightens his grip, clings harder, draws him closer, so Brooke closes his eyes and is lost to sleep again.

Vanessa is gone when Brooke wakes again, but his sheets still smell like coconut and spices, vanilla and sex, and the mattress shifts when Vanjie rejoins him, trails a hand up his bare chest, presses a featherlight kiss to his lips.

“We shouldn’t,” Brooke says quietly, reaching for Vanessa’s other hand that’s trailing dangerous low to his waistband.

“I know,” he replies. “But I want to.”

So Brooke lets Vanjie kiss him and touch him and ride him just like nothing has changed, even though they both know everything has changed.

They hold hands when they finish, Vanjie tracing the lines in Brooke’s palm with his index fingers, like he’s committing them to memory, trying to find the place where their love lines intersect again.

**Author's Note:**

> "blood and honey" is a series of (mostly) unrelated drabbles and one-shots of assorted characters and ships based on a table of prompts from LiveJournal. The table, my progress, and requests can be found over on my Tumblr @artificialmeggie. I welcome your thoughts here or there. Thank you!


End file.
